


wo ai ni(eed help)

by quanzhes (lovelyebin)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, M/M, this really just is a crackfic, yuehua ot10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:12:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyebin/pseuds/quanzhes
Summary: justin:HYUNGSEOBjustin:YOU'RE WITH HYUNGSEOBjustin:AHN HYUNGSEOBjustin:OUT OF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD YOU CHOOSE THAT DWEEBquanzhe:STOP HE'S CUTEa hamster and a bunny fall for each other. what could go wrong? (hint: a lot of things)





	1. you what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a kiss happens. mayhem ensues. bone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hop onto this unrealistic rollercoaster of a fic and suffer with me
> 
> there was an attempt to set this in line with actual events (this chapter starts with the yuehua dinner party and continues to [spoiler] quanzhe, zeren, n xinchun's elimination)
> 
> quanseob forever xo

**[salmonella]**

 

 **seunghyuk:** i think i've figured something out

 **euiwoong:** hyuk it's 2am

 **hyungseob:** no let him speak

 **euiwoong:** there is something so wrong with us if we're all awake at 2am

 **seunghyuk:** justin has a thing for older guys

 **hyungseob:** OH MY GOD

 **euiwoong:** i

 **seunghyuk:** seriously like, he had that entire thing with woong

 **euiwoong:** please

 **seunghyuk:** n he's like,, in love with chengcheng

 **hyungseob:** everyone's in love with chengcheng

 **seunghyuk:** tru

 **seunghyuk:** but he likes the attention from the older ones

 **seunghyuk:** a hyung and gege collector

 **euiwoong:** why was this relevation so important

 **euiwoong:** also you make him seem like he's a sugar baby

 **seunghyuk:** HES LIKE. 12

 **hyungseob:** yeah and he's already rich enough, why would he want more money

 **euiwoong:** why do you think millionaires exist

 **seunghyuk:** anyways i was just trying to find justin's type

 **seunghyuk:** like how jungjung hyung likes dancers and rappers

 **seunghyuk:** or how seob likes guys younger than him

 **hyungseob:** SHUT UP

 **seunghyuk:** why are you booing me....i'm right

 **euiwoong:** go back to sleep

 **seunghyuk:** same goes to you

 **seunghyuk:** tell hyung about justin's type tomorrow

 **seunghyuk:** or later whatever time is a man made construct

 

-

 

**[chengcheng's vegetables]**

 

 **zhengting:** okay number one

 **zhengting:** you're not allowed to make fun of hyungseob and euiwoong's height

 **justin:** aw man that just sucks the fun out of every interaction

 **zhengting:** justin.

 **justin:** fine

 **zhengting:** two, try to be on your best behavior

 **zeren:** are you saying we don't act collected all the time

 **wenjun:** we don't

 **zeren:** i know

 **zhengting:** three, NO FLIRTING

 **xinchun:** what's That supposed to mean

 **zeren:** isn't this just a family dinner with people from our company?? why would we

 **zhengting:** it means what i said

 **zhengting:** now get ready

 

-

 

**[salmonella]**

 

 **euiwoong:** he laughed

 **seunghyuk:** HAH

 

-

 

 **[hyungseob** > **zhengting]**

 

 **hyungseob:** um

 **hyungseob:** hyung if you can pass on to quanzhe that i'm sorry please do

 **zhengting:** what happened?

 **hyungseob:** hoo boy

 **hyungseob:** uh

 **zhengting:** seob.....

 **hyungseob:** i'd rather have him explain?

 **zhengting:** okay, but i will talk to you later

 

-

 

 **[zhengting** > **quanzhe]**

 

 **zhengting:** did something happen between you and hyungseob?

 **quanzhe:** no

 **zhengting:** li quanzhe

 **quanzhe:** no?

 **zhengting:** zhezhe

 **quanzhe:** WE MIGHT HAVE KISSED OKAY THAT WAS IT I PROMISE

 **zhengting:** YOU WHAT

 

-

 

**[salmonella]**

 

 **hyungseob:** i'm leaving yuehua

 **seunghyuk:** why

 **euiwoong:** good riddance

 **hyungseob:** woong...you wound me

 **seunghyuk:** haha euiwound

 **hyungseob:** but seriously

 **seunghyuk:** seriously or serious seriously

 **hyungseob:** seriously

 **seunghyuk:** oh phew got nervous there

 **hyungseob:** i'd never leave you seunghyukkie  <3

 **seunghyuk:** <3

 **euiwoong:** gross

 **hyungseob:** you're gross

 **seunghyuk:** seconded

 **seunghyuk:** but really, what happened?

 **hyungseob:** i kissed quanzhe

 **seunghyuk:** get it

 **hyungseob:** please it's been haunting me

 **euiwoong:** why on earth would you do that

 **hyungseob:** i don't know he's really cute and we were alone in the bathroom

 **euiwoong:** you kissed in a Bathroom

 **hyungseob:** and we talked for a little bit and it was hard cause my chinese is mediocre at best

 **seunghyuk:** i said i was always here to help

 **hyungseob:** every time i try you keep playing jolin tsai songs on blast and i can't concentrate

 **seunghyuk:** she is my QUEEN and i LOVE her

 **euiwoong:** hey you said you were gone cause you lost your phone

 

_euiwoong sent a photo._

 

 **euiwoong:** see look here's a screenshot of your te

 **euiwoong:** your text

 **euiwoong:** that you sent me

 **euiwoong:** about losing your phone

 **seunghyuk:** woong you're hopeless

 **hyungseob:** so then i accidentally called him cute

 **seunghyuk:** accidentally???

 **hyungseob:** i apologized but the he got all blushy and i couldn't help myself

 **hyungseob:** so we kissed for like 5 minutes before someone else came in and i didn't make eye contact with him for the rest of the night

 **seunghyuk:** FIVE MINUTES

 **hyungseob:** HES A GOOD KISSER

 

-

 

 **[zhengting** > **quanzhe]**

 

 **zhengting:** back up, how did this happen

 **quanzhe:** well we were in the washroom

 **zhengting:** so that's why you disappeared for so long

 **zhengting:** wait you kissed in a washroom

 **quanzhe:** and we talked through the language barrier and he's super sweet even if his chinese is a bit rough

 **zhengting:** his accent is totally off isn't it

 **quanzhe:** YES BUT IT'S ADORABLE

 **quanzhe:** but then he was kinda staring at me and becoming unresponsive and before i could ask him why he suddenly said i was cute??

 **zhengting:** oh he would

 **quanzhe:** and i got flustered and then he kissed me and we both got flustered and then we kissed for like 5 minutes

 **quanzhe:** he's a bit awkward but it's endearing

 **zhengting:** my kids are growing up...

 **quanzhe:** gross, grandpa

 

-

 

**[chengcheng's vegetables]**

 

 **justin:** so...quanzhe

 **quanzhe:** what do you know....

 **justin:** enough

 **xinchun:** justin don't do that it's scary

 **justin:** FINE mind telling us about your new boyfriend?

 **quanzhe:** HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND

 **justin:** I DIDNT EVEN MENTION ANYONE

 **quanzhe:** heck

 **wenjun:** owo what's this?

 **xinchun:** do that again and i'll kick you out

 **wenjun:** understandable have a nice day

 **justin:** who are you to discriminate, MinionLover98

 **xinchun:**.

 **justin:** thought so

 **zeren:** li quanzhe!!!!

 **quanzhe:** don't do this

 **xinchun:** you've got serious game

 **quanzhe:** stooop

 **justin:** so who's the lucky guy

 **quanzhe:** i thought you knew??

 **justin:** nah you've just had this daydreamy face and i figured it was about someone

 **quanzhe:** well how did you know it was a guy?

 **justin:** we're surrounded by dudes i can't imagine you finding a girl in this situation

 **wenjun:** justin is smarter than he looks

 **justin:** what's that supposed to mean

 **zeren:** you traded your intelligence for height

 **justin:** BITCH

 **zhengting:** what's going on here

 **justin:** nothing

 **xinchun:** justin sucks

 **zhengting:** i was looking for new information

 **chengcheng:** wow stin i didn't know you were on firewalking team

 **chengcheng:** cause you just got burned

 **justin:** i hate all of you

 **justin:** even quanzhe's bf who i haven't met

 **quanzhe:** what did he do to you!!!

 **justin:** so you're accepting him as your boyfriend now

 **quanzhe:** i walked right into that one

 **zhengting:** hey hey, if quanzhe doesn't want to talk about his love life, don't force him

 **quanzhe:** thank you!

 **zhengting:** whatever happens between him and hyungseob is none of our business

 **zhengting:** wait no

 **justin:** HYUNGSEOB

 **justin:** YOU'RE WITH HYUNGSEOB

 **justin:** AHN HYUNGSEOB

 **justin:** OUT OF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD YOU CHOOSE THAT DWEEB

 **quanzhe:** STOP HE'S CUTE

 **wenjun:** oh the little awkward one who trailed behind the other little one

 **xinchun:** i'm glad you have someone, quanzhe!!

 **zeren:** #quanseob

 **quanzhe:** i hate you all so much

 **wenjun:** no you don't

 **chengcheng:** no you dont

 **zeren:** no you don't

 **justin:** no you don't

 **zhengting:** no you don't

 **xinchun:** no you don't

 **quanzhe:** you're right i don't

 

-

 

**[salmonella]**

 

 **hyungseob:** PANIC

 **seunghyuk:** DID D.VA FINALLY COME BACK TO KOREA SO SHE CAN CRUSH ME WITH HER MECH

 **euiwoong:** ...what

 **seunghyuk:** oh guess not

 **hyungseob:** AAUUAHA

 **seunghyuk:** you good

 **hyungseob:** NO QUANZHE IS FLYING TO KOREA

 **seunghyuk:** good for him?

 **hyungseob:** no he got eliminated and i am sad

 **euiwoong:** he's staying at the company

 **seunghyuk:** get it

 **hyungseob:** STOP I T

 **hyungseob:** HES GONNA BE HERE I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE

 **hyungseob:** WHAT IF HE THINKS IM A LOSER

 **seunghyuk:** he probably already does

 **seunghyuk:** woong please tell me you imagine reciprocated my imaginary high five

 **euiwoong:** you bet

 **seunghyuk:** sweet

 **hyungseob:** you guys are no help at all

 **seunghyuk:** why would you ask us, two single guys, for romance advice

**hyungseob:**

**hyungseob:** touché

 

-

 

 **[chunrenzhe +** **zhengting]**

 

 **zhengting:** don't forget to drink water and eat regularly

 **zeren:** you mean drink some Nongfu Spring Vitamin Water™

 **zhengting:** why would you, you're the one who complains about it the most

 **zeren:** I JUST WANT REGULAR WATER FOR ONCE

 **xinchun:** don't worry we will!!

 **zhengting:** do you have everything? sure you didn't leave anything here?

 **zeren:** the answer was yes the first time and is still yes the 17th time

 **zeren:** we're fine

 **quanzhe:** take off your jacket you're not running to the airport

 **zhengting:** fine...

 **xinchun:** stop fussing, we aren't children

 **quanzhe:** yeah we're toddlers

 **zeren:** true

 **zhengting:** okay okay have safe flights!

 **zhengting:** and update your sns often i'll miss seeing your faces :(

 **zeren:** oh don't worry i got wenjun to take pics of us on a polaroid camera and stick them everywhere

 **zhengting:** you what

 **quanzhe:** bye we love you!

 

-

 

**[salmonella]**

 

 _seunghyuk changed the group chat name to:_ hyungseob's gay crisis

 

 **euiwoong:** oh?

 **seunghyuk:** he's been crying over fan accounts from quanzhe at the airport

 **euiwoong:** what the hell he told me he needed to go to the washroom!!

 **euiwoong:** we were practicing

 **seunghyuk:** you really need to stop putting so much faith in him

 

-

 

**[chengcheng's vegetables]**

 

 **wenjun:** all of our bones are wet

 **zeren:** do you ever think before speaking

 **justin:** why would you say this

 **justin:** we were all having good days

 **chengcheng:** debatable

 **quanzhe:** ...can i dry them?

 **zhengting:** i can help with that

 **xinchun:** what is WRONG with you people

 **zhengting:** I MEANT HELP WITH CHENGCHENG'S OFF DAY

 **zhengting:** QUANZHE I LOVE YOU BUT I'M NOT DRYING YOUR BONES

 **wenjun:** then who will

 **justin:** hyungseob

 **quanzhe:** NO

 **zeren:** how do you even dry bones

 **quanzhe:** please it was a joke

 **justin:** ask hyungseob later he's gonna dry quanzhe's

 

_justin has been kicked out of the group chat._


	2. strange is an understatement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> euiwoong has recceipts. justin (used to) have a crush. hyungseob asks for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take this away from me

**[chengcheng's vegetables]**

  
**zeren:** okay i need an opinion

  
_zeren sent a photo._

  
**zeren:** this shirt

  
_zeren sent a photo._

  
**zeren:** or this one

 **chengcheng:** they look exactly like your other two

 **zeren:** i like to stick with the classics

 **xinchun:** i'm going to fly back and burn your entire closet

  
-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**seunghyuk:** imagine if seob went through the idol producer ghost prank

 **seunghyuk:** he threw the chair with just one scare in pd101 what would happen this time

 **euiwoong:** he'd throw away his dignity

 **hyungseob:** HEY

 **seunghyuk:** nah that already happened when he tried tumbling in a skirt on the street

 **euiwoong:** you right

 **hyungseob:** what did i ever do to deserve this slander

 **euiwoong:** april 22, 2016) when we first met, you saw me and immediately said "someone shorter than me! finally!"

 **euiwoong:** april 23, 2016) the day after we first met, you told me that eating raw chicken would help build muscles

 **euiwoong:** april 30, 2016) a week after we first met, you got sick from salmonella poisoning because you ate raw chicken

 **euiwoong:** shall i continue?

 **hyungseob:** why do you have all those records.....

 **euiwoong:** I Know All

 **seunghyuk:** you're starting to sound like justin

 **euiwoong:** justin collects his info dirtily but i remain pure

 **seunghyuk:** debatable

 **euiwoong:** anyways are you done packing

 **hyungseob:** you can't just publicly shame me like that and expect to have a normal conversation!!!!

 **euiwoong:** there's literally three of us here

 **seunghyuk:** actually i'm representing myself, and my 5 followers on instagram, two of which are my family

 **hyungseob:** you have an instagram account?

 **seunghyuk:** not one that people know about

 **hyungseob:** but you just

 **euiwoong:** seob cmon

 **hyungseob:** why am i packing

 **euiwoong:** ...we're going to japan today

 **hyungseob:** WHAT

 **hyungseob:** I WAS PRACTICING MY CHINESE THE WHOLE WEEK TO SAY HELLO TO QUANZHE WITHOUT PASSING OUT

 **euiwoong:** well you better start practicing your japanese on the plane

 

-

 

 **[quanzhe** > **xinchun]**

  
**quanzhe:** XINCHUN WHAT IF I SEE HIM

 **xinchun:** who

 **quanzhe:** HYUNGSEOB

 **xinchun:** your flight to korea is in like 5 days??

 **quanzhe:** IM THINKING AHEAD

 **xinchun:** just don't go into any washrooms

 **quanzhe:** it's not the washroom's fault, idiot, i already told you

 **xinchun:** macking on someone for 5 minutes is No Joke quanzhe

 **quanzhe:** can you at least be a little helpful??? i actually might cry if i run into him

 **xinchun:** listening to my washroom advice is extremely helpful

 **xinchun:** avoid them; avoid him

 **quanzhe:** ugh i love you but i need to stop talking to you

 **quanzhe:** see you in seoul

 **xinchun:** i love you too!! see ya

 

-

 

**[justin fucked up]**

  
**justin:** it took me like 7 years to find this gc again but hello

 **euiwoong:** oh hi

 **seunghyuk:** sup

 **justin:** seunghyuk hyung it is so nice to see your icon again

 **euiwoong:** what about me?

 **justin:** i saw you like, three weeks ago and i watched you being pulled to where we were cause you were too awkward to cross the stage

 **seunghyuk:** drag him king !

 **justin:** yas

 **euiwoong:** suddenly i'm glad this chat died

 **euiwoong:** what was the context anyways

 **seunghyuk:**  when justin had a crush on you i accidentally made this chat with you in it but i didn't want to delete it cause you'd be suspicious so i said he was lactose intolerant and ate a tub of ice cream and i needed your help to drag him to the bathroom

 **seunghyuk:** his crush is gone but the gc stuck

 **euiwoong:** wait....you're not lactose intolerant

 **justin:** nah just a really good impromptu actor

 **euiwoong:** i tried so hard not to buy dairy products since that day.....what.....

 **justin:** the only thing i'm intolerant for is

 **justin:** HYUNGSEOB AND QUANZHE PINING FOR EACH OTHER

 **seunghyuk:** nice segway

 **justin:** thank you i try

 **justin:** any ideas fellas

 **euiwoong:** uh let them sort it out themselves?

 **justin:** boring. unoriginal. anyone else?

 **seunghyuk:** make seob confess saying he has a week to live so quanzhe can't refuse

 **justin:** then he'll say that the doctors made a mistake and then they live happily ever after  I Like It

 **euiwoong:** isn't that like. emotionally manipulative

 **seunghyuk:** woong you gotta stop being so morally correct

 **euiwoong:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE JUST SETTING THEM UP FOR DISASTER

 **seunghyuk:** they're already a disaster

 **justin:** at least we're setting them up

 **euiwoong:** ...you two cannot be trusted

 

-

 

 **[euiwoong** > **seunghyuk]**

  
**euiwoong:** wait you and justin made up an entire story as an excuse to not tell me about his crush at the time

 **euiwoong:** what's wrong with liking me and saying it

 **seunghyuk:** imagine having a crush on a brick

 **seunghyuk:** hard to break through, unresponsive, and dense as hell

**euiwoong:**

**euiwoong:** point taken

  
-

 

**[chengcheng's vegetables]**

  
**xinchun:** it's so sad that my flight is short

 **xinchun:** i can only watch the minions movie once and 2/3s in two and a half hours :(

 **chengcheng:** i wish i never had to learn this information

 **wenjun:** why can't you act like other guys your age

 **xinchun:** like who?? xukun???

 **xinchun:** you want me to dress in mesh and hot makeup and make everyone fall for me??

 **zeren:** that sounds so much better than you right now

 **chengcheng:** petition to replace xinchun with xukun

 **wenjun:** signed

 **zeren:** signed

 **zhengting:** signed

 **xinchun:** MY OWN PARENT

 **quanzhe:** signed

 **xinchun:** quanzhe you traitor

 **quanzhe:** xukun could probably give better advice than you so

 **zhengting:** false he can't handle romance at all

 **zhengting:** ask him about relationships and he just screams in a corner for 2 minutes

**quanzhe:**

**quanzhe:** whatever i still signed it

 **xinchun:** my family.....why.....

 **chengcheng:** top 10 anime betrayals

 

-

 

**[two losers and a taller loser]**

  
**justin:** WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO JAPAN!!!

 **euiwoong:** just how many group chats did we make...

 **euiwoong:** we're going to thailand too after if you wanted to know

 **hyungseob:** please stop i've been crying the entire way to the airport

 **justin:** you could have said something to quanzhe

 **justin:** all the moments you could have had, gone

 **justin:** every chance of another kiss, poof

 **euiwoong:** hyungseob is sobbing

 **justin:** hyungsob?

 **euiwoong:** ...you hang out with that yanjun guy too much

 **justin:** he's funny and i love him

 **euiwoong:** more than you love me?

 **justin:** oh definitely

 **justin:** anyways this won't deter me

 **justin:** quanseob will happen and i'm sure of it

 **euiwoong:** the last time you said you were sure of something was when you bet seunghyuk you could eat 20 chicken nuggets faster than him

 **euiwoong:** and we all know how that went

 **hyungseob:** i'm typing through my tears to say there's a permanent stain on the carpet

**justin:**

**justin:** it was nice talking to you have a safe flight!

 **euiwoong:** no promises

 **justin:** die then

 **hyungseob:** wait...quanseob?

 **hyungseob:** WE ALREADY HAVE A SHIP NAME

 **euiwoong:** justin please come back he's crying even harder

 

-

 

**[chengcheng's vegetables]**

  
**wenjun:** i was wondering why it was so quiet

 **wenjun:** we forgot to add justin back

 **chengcheng:** um do we want him

 **zeren:** you miss him the most stop lying

 **zhengting:** he's been sulking all day cause justin keeps ignoring him

 **wenjun:** clingy

 **quanzhe:** says the person who was constantly snuggling me and zeren

 **wenjun:** i don't appreciate this callout

 **wenjun:** besides i don't even do that towards you anymore

 **quanzhe:** well i'm eliminated, you can't

 **chengcheng:** oof

 **quanzhe:** i mean you could, technically, but that's unconventional

 **zhengting:** snuggling is never unconventional!

 **zeren:** zhenghao would think otherwise

 **wenjun:**  if you _were_ here i wouldn't do it

 **wenjun:** i'm not very clingy with people who are taken !

 **quanzhe:** TAKEN

 **xinchun:** omg is it official

 **quanzhe:** NO????

 **chengcheng:** justin would have loved this conversation

 **zhengting:** oh my god chengcheng you're so annoying

  
_zhengting added justin to the group chat._

 

 **justin:** GUESS WHO'S BACK BITCHES

 **wenjun:** i'm guessing it's justin

 **justin:** ME

 **justin:** dude

 **justin:** killed my vibe

 **wenjun:** i'm sorry??

  
_justin changed the group chat name to:_ quanseob 2kForever

  
**quanzhe:** STOP !

 **wenjun:** is it too late to kick him out again

 **justin:** yes

 **zeren:** just date the guy already quanzhe

 **quanzhe:** most of you don't even know him

 **xinchun:** you're not any better, mr. gross washroom kiss

 **quanzhe:** not gross!!!!!

 **chengcheng:**  actually he's spends the days we get our phones back watching hyungseob cuts on produce 101

 **zhengting:** seobbie's very sweet

 **zhengting:** strange sometimes, but very sweet

 **justin:** strange is an understatement

 **zhengting:** quanzhe we're always here for you

 **quanzhe:** but i don't need you!!

 **chengcheng:** [soft gasp]

 **zeren:** you're tearing this family apart

 **wenjun:** you say that like we even were a family in the first place

 **xinchun:** ...but we are, right?

 **wenjun:** yes we are i didn't mean it

 **zhengting:** quanzhe, are you sure you're okay?

 **quanzhe:** i'm just

 **quanzhe:** nervous

 **quanzhe:** what if i make a bad impression

 **justin:** you don't need to worry about what he thinks of you

 **justin:** trust me

 **quanzhe:** i. kind of really like him and i don't wanna mess this up

 **zeren:** have you ever messed things up? you'll be fine

 **quanzhe:** i have though?

 **quanzhe:** multiple times??

 **zeren:** i was trying to be motivational

 **chengcheng:** full offense but you suck

 **zeren:** understandable none taken

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**euiwoong:** hyuk save me

 **seunghyuk:** you're kinda in a different country

 **euiwoong:** please hyungseob won't stop singing sad love songs and staring out our hotel room window

 **seunghyuk:** sounds like a normal monday night

 **seunghyuk:** and geez he's this whipped for someone he kissed once in a bathroom?

 **euiwoong:** he watches idol producer intently

 **seunghyuk:** ah

 **seunghyuk:** must be nice to have screentime

 **euiwoong:**  it looks like he just got an idea

 **seunghyuk:** Oh No

 **euiwoong:** he whipped out his phone and started typing frantically

 **euiwoong:** it sent and he's waiting

 **seunghyuk:** so it isn't this chat

 **euiwoong:** thank you all the deities above

 **seunghyuk:** i hope whoever responds is more resposible than us

 

-

 

**[ahn2park]**

  
**hyungseob:** GUYS I NEED SOME ADVICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tag urself i'm xukun screaming in a corner for two minutes


	3. doctor of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chengcheng prescribes some medicine. wenjun takes a bribe. xinchun gets exposed. (by himself, save him)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've realized how hard it is to convey a language barrier in an english chatfic but here's my logic:
> 
> \- korean sprouts/chinese sprouts chat in their respective languages  
> \- when justin/zhengting talk to ahnwoong, it's in korean  
> \- i'll italicize someone speaking in a different language than the rest of the chat  
> \- yes i know that means english puns don't work out but just. stay with me here  
> \- seunghyuk does whatever the heck he wants cause he's choi seunghyuk
> 
>  
> 
> also let me say!!!! i'm Overwhelmed (in a good way) with all your positive comments thank u so much!!!! ily all quanseob forever <3

**[chengcheng** > **quanzhe]**

  
**chengcheng:** hellooo

 **quanzhe:** chengcheng? what do you want?

 **chengcheng:** is that any way to greet your doctor

 **quanzhe:** i'm sorry my what now

 **chengcheng:** it's me

 **chengcheng:** fan chengcheng

 **chengcheng:** doctor of love~

 **quanzhe:** i never want to see you use another tilde

 **quanzhe:** and did you accidentally drink again? i thought zhengting talked to you about that

 **quanzhe:** and you're underage....

 **chengcheng:** shush now sweet patient

 **chengcheng:** the only thing i'm drunk on

 **chengcheng:** is love

 

-

 

 **[justin** > **zhengting]**

  
**justin:** have you seen chengcheng

 **zhengting:** no?

 **justin:** ugh i can't find him and i can't help but think he's up to something weird

 **zhengting:** didn't he go to sleep really late last night? why is he already up?

 **justin:** that's exactly why i'm worried

 

-

 

 **[chengcheng** > **quanzhe]**

  
**chengcheng:** now this hyungsik guy

 **quanzhe:** hyungseob

 **chengcheng:** it seems like he's missing some....vitamin u

 **quanzhe:** aren't you supposed to be my doctor why are you giving me other people's perscription

 **chengcheng:** in fact, i think hyunseung

 **quanzhe:** hyungseob

 **chengcheng:** is Vitally lacking

 **chengcheng:** vitamin q

 **quanzhe:** q could stand for literally anything do you want me to give him a quesadilla

 **chengcheng:** what i'm saying is

 **chengcheng:** you gotta go to sihyun

 **quanzhe:** okay you're not even trying anymore

 **chengcheng:** go to him

 **chengcheng:** or else he DIES

**quanzhe:**

**quanzhe:** can i get another doctor

 **chengcheng:** nope this is a life-long contract

 **quanzhe:** life-long huh...

 

-

 

 **[quanzhe** > **wenjun]**

  
**quanzhe:** hey do you know where chengcheng is?

 **wenjun:** oh yeah we're chilling in the cafeteria

 **wenjun:** he's kinda sleep deprived and has been giggling at his phone for a while

 **quanzhe:** ah

 **quanzhe:**  can you do me a favour

 **wenjun:** ?

 **quanzhe:** chase chengcheng around with a spork

 **wenjun:** chase him with

 **wenjun:** a spork?

 **quanzhe:** yeah you know, almost a spoon but with fork tips

 **wenjun:** no i know what a spork is

 **wenjun:** but why

 **quanzhe:** a spoon isn't threatening, a fork/knife is dangerous and chasing him with any other utensil is ridiculous

 **wenjun:** do you think about this a lot

 **quanzhe:** daily

 **quanzhe:** now will you do it?

 **wenjun:** what's in it for me

 **quanzhe:** i'll buy you all the weed socks you wanted

 **wenjun:** DEAL

 

-

 

 **[chengcheng** > **quanzhe]**

  
**chengcheng:** my dear patient please respond

 **chengcheng:** i have made another discovery

 **chengcheng:** it seems that you should reccieve your daily dose

 **chengcheng:** of vitamin ddddsjskdkdkd

 **quanzhe:** oh gross!!

 **quanzhe:**  anyways,,, our life-long contract had to end somewhere

 **quanzhe:** goodbye, doctor chengcheng.

 

-

 

**[quanseob 2kForever]**

  
**zhengting:** WHY IS WENJUN RUNNING AFTER CHENGCHENG WITH A SPOON

 **quanzhe:** actually it's a spork

 **justin:** CHENGCHENG I'M COMING

 **xinchun:** quanzhe what

 **quanzhe:** chengcheng was being weird so i bribed wenjun

 **zeren:** you play dirty li quanzhe

 **quanzhe:** hehe

 **zhengting:** oh now wenjun is chasing both of them

 **zhengting:** did he yell something about socks??

 **quanzhe:** all in a day's work

 **xinchun:** remind me to never mess with quanzhe

 

-

 

**[ahn2park]**

  
**hyungseob:** i'm having...boy issues

 **hyungseob:** that sounded weird not like. body boy issues

 **hyungseob:** there is a boy and i like him and that is the issue

 **hyungseob:** please don't talk to me about puberty

 **hyungseob:** guys?

 **woojin:** prepare for trouble

 **jihoon:** and make it double

 **woojin:** to protect hyungseob from devestation

 **jihoon:** to let him unite with his man from across the nation

 **woojin:** to help with his troubles facing love

 **jihoon:** to make sure he's not awkward for the stars above

 **woojin:** 2!

 **jihoon:** park!

 **woojin:** pink sausages blasts off at the speed of light!

 **jihoon:** surrender now, or prepare to fight!

 **woojin:** we didn't have time to edit the last part i promise we don't wanna fight you

 **jihoon:** i mean unless you want

 **woojin:** yeah we're good at fighting

 **jihoon:** really good

 **hyungseob:** i

 **hyungseob:** i suddenly regret this

 **jihoon:** nonsense we are the best people to talk to about love

 **woojin:**  jihoon you thought we were dating for almost four months and we only found out when you took me out for our 100 days

 **woojin:** i said "why did you do this we aren't even dating" and you punched me in the stomach

 **jihoon:** ah yes the day of our first date, extremely romantic 11/10 would relive

 **woojin:** SAYS YOU

 **hyungseob:** it's okay i should probably talk to someone else

 **woojin:** NO SEOB TRUST US

 **hyungseob:** give me one (1) reason

 **jihoon:** we're in a relationship and you're not

 **hyungseob:** you've...got a point

 **jihoon:** hah

 **jihoon:** now lament to us your troubles young one

 **hyungseob:** you're only 3 months older

 **jihoon:** still older

 **hyungseob:** okay so there's a boy

 **jihoon:** figured

 **woojin:** do we know him?

 **hyungseob:** um do you watch idol producer?

 **jihoon:** vaguely

 **jihoon:** guanlin's friends are on the show and he's shown us clips but like,,

 **jihoon:** do we really wanna relive that

 **woojin:** okay park "wink jeojang 2nd place" jihoon

 **jihoon:** woojin you literally performed with shingles

 **woojin:** yes but i also made good friends that i wouldn't give up for the world

 **hyungseob:** aww

 **jihoon:** woojinnie :')

 **woojin:** i'm not talking about either of you lee woojin is my ride or die

 **jihoon:** oh lee woojin is a gift to this world

 **hyungseob:** agreed

 **hyungseob:** but uh yeah his name is li quanzhe

 **woojin:** OH i've heard of him guanlin showed us a dance video of his friend and quanzhe was there

 **jihoon:** small world

 **hyungseob:** so long story short we kissed in a bathroom for 5 minutes two weeks ago and never talked about it since

**jihoon:**

**woojin:**

**hyungseob:**

**jihoon:**

**woojin:**

**hyungseob:**

**jihoon:** i'm sorry WHAT

 **hyungseob:** well he was busy with recording but then he got eliminated and he's flying to korea

 **hyungseob:** but i'm gonna be in different countries for me and woong's fanmeetings so i can't even say hi

 **hyungseob:** i don't even know his feelings for me like?????

 **hyungseob:** all i know is that he's cute deserved better and is a really good kisser

 **woojin:** yeah hold on my two remaining brain cells are trying to process this information

 **jihoon:** okay so do you have his number

 **hyungseob:** no

 **jihoon:** god okay you are so screwed

 **hyungseob:** do you think i don't already know that???

 **woojin:** what bathroom

 **hyungseob:** what

 **woojin:** how on earth did you kiss him in a bathroom

 **hyungseob:** oh my company had a dinner party

 **jihoon:** YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE IN THE SAME DAMN COMPANY AND YOU DON'T HAVE HIS NUMBER

 **hyungseob:** WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY "hey cute guy who i just made out with can i get your number?"

 **jihoon:** yes

 **woojin:** yes

 **hyungseob:** we all know that that's way beyond my capacity to do

 **woojin:** you're not afraid of dancing alone in front of 100 people but you are afraid of getting someone's number

 **hyungseob:** those are two completely different and unrelated circumstances

 **jihoon:** we're getting off track!!!

 **jihoon:** can't you ask someone else to pass on his number to you?

 **hyungseob:** maybe

 **hyungseob:** but then what?

 **woojin:** you bond over the numerous heartwarming texts you send and patiently wait for the day you reunite in a washroom and make out again

 **jihoon:** idk you die

 **hyungseob:** you're both the worst

 

-

 

 **[justin** > **seunghyuk]**

  
**justin:** seunghyuk hyung the only person i trust in this world

 **seunghyuk:** that's false and you know it

 **justin:** seunghyuk hyung the only person i trust in this universe

 **seunghyuk:** better

 **seunghyuk:** and yes?

 **justin:** i'm bored and too exhausted to move cause of the sporkatastrophe

 **seunghyuk:** the what

 **justin:** i'll explain someday

 **justin:** but i had an idea

 **seunghyuk:** since it's me you're telling...

 **seunghyuk:** not about quanseob cause then you'd have woong at least too

 **seunghyuk:** something mischievous cause then you wouldn't have a problem telling zhengting

 **seunghyuk:** not a prank cause i'm in another country

 **seunghyuk:** hit me

 **justin:** what if....we make a group chat with all 10 of us

 **seunghyuk:** bad idea

 **justin:** i know but imagine

 **seunghyuk:** quanzhe and hyungseob immediately combust into flames because they're being forced to interact for the first time since The Incident™

 **justin:** zhengting ge's stress increases every second the chat exists

 **seunghyuk:** euiwoong awkwardly introduces himself followed by more awkward introductions and no one has anything else to say and the chat dies

 **justin:** someone accidentally overshares and makes everyone uncomfortable and the chat dies

**seunghyuk:**

**justin:**

**seunghyuk:** go for it

 **justin:** HELL YEAH

 

-

 

_justin created a group chat._

  
_justin added zhengting, wenjun, xinchun, zeren, hyungseob, chengcheng, euiwoong, and quanzhe to the group chat._

  
_justin named the group chat:_ yuehua ot10

  
**justin:** sup guys

 **zeren:** oh

 **euiwoong:** _justin???_

 **justin:** wait i forgot not everyone speaks the same language

 **seunghyuk:** dumbass

 **justin:** shut up

 **euiwoong:** _what is going on_

 **euiwoong:** _hey i can speak chinese_

 **zhengting:** WHAT IS THIS

 **wenjun:** woah hello

 **zhengting:** JUSTIN

 **justin:** yes my most favourite gege

 **euiwoong:** hello i am euiwoong

 **wenjun:** i'm wenjun?

 **zeren:** ding zeren

 **xinchun:** i'm xinchun and i have a minion fetish

  
_justin deleted the group chat._

 

-

 

 **[seunghyuk** > **justin]**

  
**seunghyuk:** that was

 **justin:** amazing

 **seunghyuk:** was gonna say terrible but that works too

 **seunghyuk:** kinda disappointed that it ended so soon

 **seunghyuk:** xinchun wtf

 **justin:** when he gets nervous during introductions he tries to think of something interesting to say but it ends up really unsettling

 **seunghyuk:** good to know

 **seunghyuk:** try again some other time?

 **justin:** you bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love: chaos


	4. shut up and go to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungseob and quanzhe talk about their feelings. not to each other, of course, that would be ridiculous. cursed videos resurface. wenjun has a theory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fixed up a couple schedule things cause i'm trying my best to set this in line with real life
> 
> which was a Big Miss Steak cause it's now caught up to present time n yuehua hates me so i don't have any updates to what anyone is doing!!!! (ahnwoong fly back to korea n interact with chunrenzhe +hyuk challenge)
> 
> nyways i love u all so much thank u for letting me drag u down into the garbage world of quanseob <333
> 
> WARNING: many many callbacks to pd101s2 hope u can keep track

**[papi-llon]**

  
**justin:** you ever think about hyungseob slurping raw egg yolk like it's gourmet food it literally haunts my dreams sometimes

 **justin:** wait wrong chat

 **xukun:** i have so many questions

 **fan:** who is hyungseob

 **justin:** don't worry about it

 **ziyi:** jeffrey says that sounds delicious

 

-

 

 **[justin** > **seunghyuk]**

  
**justin:** hyung i was supposed to send something to you but i made a terrible mistake

 **seunghyuk:** again?

 

-

 

**[quanseob 2kForever]**

  
**zeren:** okay i searched up hyungseob and the first video is him making meringue??

 **zeren:** quanzhe you have weird taste

 **zeren:** he does too

 **zeren:** literally

 **xinchun:** wait did all the contestants on produce 101 do that?

 **zeren:** if i had to watch justin eat a raw egg i'd actually disown him

 **xinchun:** no i meant the meringue thing

 **zeren:** oh yeah but i don't think any of them are half as weird as hyungseob's

 **chengcheng:** hm i've never actually watched produce 101 content

 **chengcheng:** time to change that!

 **xinchun:** hey we can watch zhengting and justin's things!!

 **justin:** haha this has been fun but it's time to stop,

 **chengcheng:** huh what's an eye contact video....

 **justin:** CHENGCHENG DONT

 **wenjun:** woah these self introductions

 **zeren:** suddenly i feel better about my self intro

 **xinchun:** oh justin that's the wrong bowl

 **wenjun:** this seunghyuk guy...why haven't i heard of him

 **wenjun:** wait he's in yuehua

 **chengcheng:** OH MY GOD

 **chengcheng:** HUANG MINGHAO

 **wenjun:** this dude can't be real

 **chengcheng:** MY EYES

 **wenjun:** that random gc justin made was a dream right? choi seunghyuk is just a hallucination

 **wenjun:** no way someone that good looking and talented can exist

 **zeren:** wow zhengting and justin had a really big concept change since then

 **xinchun:** zhengting trying to pronounce meringue my lung s

 **zeren:** this show was a mess

  
_xinchun renamed the group chat:_ moling tim

  
**chengcheng:** justin i can't look at you the same way ever again

 **justin:** is this hell? i am in hell

 **wenjun:** where you belong

 **zhengting:** hello what's

 **zhengting:** WHY IS THE CHAT NAME THAT

 **xinchun:** oh i see the eye contact videos now

 **zeren:** i blame quanzhe's boyfriend

 **quanzhe:** i wish i could call him that

 **wenjun:** wow character development

 **zhengting:** WHY ARE YOU WATCHING

 **xinchun:** omg this guy staring at the camera for 8 minutes

 **xinchun:** woah zhengting danced with him??

 **zhengting:** WH

 **zeren:** are some of these trainees dancing or is their human wiring broken

 **chengcheng:** justin in pink.....

 **justin:** chengcheng please stop this is ruining my reputation

 **xinchun:** zhengting why didn't you tell us you had a fling

 **zhengting:** a

 **zhengting:** a what

 **xinchun:** you and this guy were really into it

 **zhengting:** IT WAS ONE DANCE IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING

 **zeren:** sounds like something someone who had a fling would say

 **wenjun:** yoooo they had a ghost prank too

 **justin:** i'm not functioning

 **wenjun:** IS THE GUY WHO THREW THE CHAIR QUANZHE'S BOYFRIEND

 **quanzhe:** yes

 **xinchun:** woah you're not even denying it anymore what's up

 **justin:** yes what is up with quanzhe put the attention on him idk a produce 101

 **quanzhe:** i am

 **quanzhe:** lovesick

 **chengcheng:** sounds like a job for

 **quanzhe:** wenjun i will buy you more socks

 **chengcheng:** OKAY OKAY CHENGCHENG THE LOVE DOCTOR IS NOT IN

 **wenjun:** no please i want the socks

 **zhengting:** i'm still reeling please never go through those videos again

 **zeren:** no promises

 **xinchun:** they're very entertaining

 **zhengting:** i will personally fly to wherever you are and throw a bottle of Nongfu Spring Vitamin Water™ at your head don't test me

 **zeren:** see this is what we meant by saying you had the worst temper

 **zhengting:** okay, quanzhe, do you want his number?

 **quanzhe:** NO

 **justin:** WHY NOT

 **quanzhe:** i won't know what to say

 **xinchun:** we're here to help

 **quanzhe:** do you really think i trust you

 **justin:** yes

 **xinchun:** yes

 **zhengting:** i hope you do!

 **chengcheng:** somewhat

 **wenjun:** yes

 **zeren:** honestly i wouldn't trust us either

 

-

 

**[ahn2park]**

  
**woojin:** omg hyungseob

 **woojin:** just do what you do best in front of quanzhe

 **woojin:** other than embarassing yourself at least

 **jihoon:** low blow, park woojin

 **woojin:** dance to pick me!

 **woojin:** he'll fall for you for sure

 **woojin:** like you almost did during pd101

**hyungseob:**

  
_hyungseob renamed the group chat:_ 99 problems and woojin's one of them

  
**woojin:** that's fair

 

-

 

**[babyface.mp3]**

  
**justin:** quanzhe!

 **quanzhe:** oh no you never open this chat

 **quanzhe:** i don't trust this

 **chengcheng:** my dude

 **chengcheng:** my guy

 **chengcheng:** to quote the ever so famous wang ziyi, "bro"

 **chengcheng:** i have but a simple question

 **chengcheng:** how much do you actually like hyungseob?

**quanzhe:**

**chengcheng:** uh quanzhe?

 **justin:** look at that. you broke him

 **chengcheng:** i didn't mean to

 **quanzhe:** i

 **quanzhe:**  um

 **quanzhe:** well at first it was just that he was cute and nice

 **quanzhe:** a little awkward but that was probably just the situation at the time

 **quanzhe:** but now i know that he's really hardworking

 **quanzhe:** and funny

 **quanzhe:** and his energy is so infectious

 **quanzhe:** and his smile could make flowers bloom

 **quanzhe:** and i want to kiss him again maybe?

 **quanzhe:** and that i'm absolutely captivated by him ah i've fallen too deep help

 **justin:** oh boy

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**seunghyuk:** hello munchkins how is bangkok

 **hyungseob:** terrible

 **euiwoong** he doesn't mean that

 **hyungseob:** i really don't the fans are super sweet and i love the food

 **seunghyuk:** well then what's wrong

 **hyungseob:** i miss quanzhe

 **euiwoong:** you're so lucky you aren't here to hear him complain

 **hyungseob:** what if i never get to see him?

 **hyungseob:** what if we go back and he's already gone to china?

 **hyungseob:** what if he never reciprocates my feelings?

 **hyungseob:** i'm going to be alone forever

 **hyungseob:** but it's okay as long as that ensures his happiness i love him

 **euiwoong:** seunghyuk i'm so tired

**seunghyuk:**

**seunghyuk:** this sounds more like a _you_ problem so

 **seunghyuk:** seunghyuk out

 

-

 

 **[justin** > **euiwoong]**

  
**justin:** how's hyungseob

 **euiwoong:** horrible he won't stop lamenting about quanzhe

 **euiwoong:** he's so smitten i can't believe it

 **justin:** ugh quanzhe's the same they're both giving me headaches

 **justin:** he even said he's lovesick like?? you're not even dating

 **euiwoong:** yet

 **justin:** with how dense and bad at talking they are i don't even think there is gonna be a yet

 **justin:** unless...

 **euiwoong:** justin no

 **justin:** i didn't even say anything!!

 **euiwoong:** remember, wwjjd

 **justin:** you're really gonna bust that one out

 **euiwoong:** What Would Jung Jung Do

 **justin:** zhengting ge would

 **justin:** let them go at their own pace cause you can never rush love

 **euiwoong:** see, look how good it feels to think like a rational person

 **justin:** i hate it

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
**wenjun:** choi seunghyuk is a cryptid a conspiracy theory by me

 **xinchun:** wenjun literally what the duck

 **xinchun:** sorry i don't wanna swear

 **justin:** you're so pure for someone who wants to bone a minion

 **zeren:** guys have i told you how much i hate this chat

 **zeren:** cause i do

 **wenjun:** a cryptid, by definition, is a creature whose existence or survival is not confimed

 **wenjun:** choi seunghyuk is too good to be real and i do not believe he lives

 **justin:** wenjun i know him

 **justin:** i literally talked to him earlier today what are you on

 **zeren:** the weed on his socks

 **wenjun:** no listen

 **wenjun:** he is a perfect human and those do not exist, we all have flaws

 **wenjun:** he doesn't???

 **zeren:** if i didn't know better it seems like you're repressing your romantic feelings for this guy

 **wenjun:** no the only thing i feel when i think of him is disbelief

 **justin:** okay let me just

  
_justin added seunghyuk to the group chat_.

  
**seunghyuk:** _justin what_

 **seunghyuk:** _oh_

 **seunghyuk:** _i mean_

 **seunghyuk:** sup guys

 **wenjun:** THIS ISN'T PROOF

 **justin:** seunghyuk wenjun thinks you're a cryptid or whatever and i just need you to prove him wrong

 **seunghyuk:** oh but what if i am?

 **seunghyuk:** i only existed for a short period of time and then what? never to be heard from

 **seunghyuk:** this could just be a simulation to trick people into believing i'm real

**justin:**

  
_seunghyuk left the group chat._

  
**wenjun:** this just confirms my theory justin go away you work for the inner circle

 **justin:** I HATE THIS SO MUCH

 

-

 

 **[hyungseob** > **euiwoong]**

  
**hyungseob:** you ever

 **hyungseob:** get struck with how much you admire someone

 **hyungseob:** like every single thing they do is equivalent to them hanging a star in the sky

 **hyungseob:** and you don't wanna go to bed  close your eyes because you don't want to dream up a world where they don't exist

 **euiwoong:** me with sewoon hyung shut up and go to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooooo's excited for the ip finale n also ahnwoong's comeback!!! i'm crying at the thought of both!!!!


	5. gay panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungseob thinks. a lot. like, it's kind of excessive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a special chapter...can u guess why?

* * *

**[hyungseob** > **zhengting]**

  
**hyungseob:** hyung......i'm gonna do it

**zhengting:** seob?

**hyungseob:** what's......quanzhe's number

**zhengting:** i am SO GLAD YOU ASKED

 

 -

 

**[hamsterless]**

  
**zhengting:** BIG NEWS

**xinchun:** THE MINIONS 2 MOVIE WAS ANNOUNCED

**zhengting:** what no

**xinchun:** well what could be bigger than that

**zhengting:** hyungseob asked for quanzhe's number!!!

**justin:** FUCKING FINALLY

**zhengting:** language!

**justin:** chinese

**justin:** you want me to say it in korean too

**zhengting:** don't sass me

**justin:** sorry it's my job

**zeren:** li quanzhe! li quanzhe! li quanzhe!

**xinchun:** omg zhe's actually gonna have a boyfriend

**wenjun:** our baby...he's growing up :')

**justin:** friendly reminder that i'm the youngest one

**zeren:** and

**xinchun:** aww does haohao wanna get babied too

**justin:** call me that again and i'll

**justin:** actually

**justin:** yeah sometimes

**chengcheng:** come to my bunk then

**justin:** okay

**wenjun:** what just happened

**zeren:** #chengstin

**zhengting:** my kids are so cute

 

-

 

**[hyungseob** > **quanzhe]**

  
**hyungseob:** um hey

**hyungseob:** it's hyungseob

**hyungseob:** the guy from the washroom

**hyungseob:** i mean you probably remember cause how often do you make out with someone and there's a toilet a couple feet away

**hyungseob:** but uh

**hyungseob:** hi

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** HELP

**seunghyuk:** is this a normal panic, a gay panic, or math panic

**hyungseob:** GAY PANIC

**hyungseob:** also why would it be a math panic

**seunghyuk:** seen it happen

**euiwoong:** did something go on between you and quanzhe?

**hyungseob:** i asked for his number

**seunghyuk:** woo get it

**hyungseob:** NOWS NOT THE TIME

**hyungseob:** but i accidentally sent him questionable texts and i don't know if he wants to reply

**seunghyuk:** oh no

**seunghyuk:** you double texted on the first text?

**hyungseob:** more like....sextuple texted

**seunghyuk:** honey,

**hyungseob:** I KNOW OKAY IM BAD AT THIS

**euiwoong:** i never understood the concept of double texting being a bad thing

**euiwoong:** if i have something to say, i'll say it

**euiwoong:** a messaging platform won't stop me

 

-

 

**[what would their gc even be named]**

  
**quanzhe:** G UY S HYUNGSEOB TEXTED ME

**quanzhe:** AAA

**zhengting:** okay, calm down

**zhengting:** i gave him your number

**quanzhe:** YOU WHAT

**zhengting:** but it's fine!!!!!

**zhengting:** we're here for you every step of the way (:

**zeren:** a smiley face has never been so condescending

  
_quanzhe sent a photo._

  
**quanzhe:** start by helping me reply to this?

**justin:** oh my god

**wenjun:** i don't wanna deter you but that boy's a mess

**xinchun:** um okay everyone send your reply ideas and quanzhe can pick the one he likes best

**xinchun:** like a dating sim

**wenjun:** don't you always lose in dating sims

**xinchun:** SHUT UP?

**zhengting:** "hi, i'm quanzhe, of course i remember you, the washroom kiss"

**zeren:** "new phone who dis"

**chengcheng:** "yeah you're a good kisser lol how about we try that again"

**wenjun:** "honestly i don't remember i was probably Fucked Up ahuehuehe"

**xinchun:** "a/s/l?"

**justin:** "hello it's quanzhe i'm completely totally in love with you wanna go on a date"

**quanzhe:**

**quanzhe:** you're all awful

 

-

 

**[quanzhe** > **hyungseob]**

  
**quanzhe:** i could be a master at washroom kisses for all you know!!

**quanzhe:** but no, i remember

**quanzhe:** it's nice to finally talk to you

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** H E RESPONDED

**euiwoong:** the chat name has never been more accurate

**seunghyuk:** LET US SEE

  
_hyungseob sent a photo._

  
**euiwoong:** you brought up the washroom kiss in your first 6 texts to him?

**hyungseob:** i panicked

**euiwoong:** you're a mess

**seunghyuk:** okay so if this was a guy i macked on in a public washroom what would i say

**hyungseob:** can we stop mentioning the incident i've suffered enough

**euiwoong:** the suffering never stops seob

**hyungseob:** what

**seunghyuk:** okay just say hi back?

**seunghyuk:** most reasonable thing to do

**hyungseob:** do i apologize for not reaching out earlier??

**euiwoong:** if you wanna be polite

**hyungseob:** OKAY HERE I GO

 

-

 

**[hyungseob** > **quanzhe]**

  
**hyungseob:** sorry for not trying to contact you earlier :(

**hyungseob:** i was kinda. flustered

**quanzhe:** it's okay!! i feel the same way actually

**hyungseob:** really?

**quanzhe:** being kissed by a cute guy is pretty flustering

**hyungseob:** it sure is

**quanzhe:** we're both pretty bad at this huh

**hyungseob:** yeah we kinda are

**hyungseob:** um say, are you free anytime soon?

 

-

 

**[justin is a loser]**

  
**quanzhe:** HE ASKED ME OUT I THINK??

**xinchun:** which one of our lines did you use?

**quanzhe:** what do i say he asked if i was free this week

**justin:** we don't know your schedule, this is up to you

**quanzhe:** um i have practice but i could always skip?

**zeren:** the things you do for love

**zhengting:** "yes, i'm free! nothing else is happening at all!"

**chengcheng:** "actually i'm expensive"

**xinchun:** "make us free na splash kasaneta"

**wenjun:** "wait a minute...who Are you?"

**justin:** "swiggity swee of course i'm free"

**zeren:** "we're never free from the chains of capitalism"

**quanzhe:** why do i keep asking you guys things

 

-

 

**[quanzhe** > **hyungseob]**

  
**quanzhe:** i might have some things to do but it's fine!!

**hyungseob:** oh no i wouldn't want to disturb your plans

**quanzhe:** well

**quanzhe:** if i had to be honest, i'd much rather have plans with you

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** HES FUNNY AND SMOOTH HES MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS

**seunghyuk:** what happened

**hyungseob:** i asked him out

**euiwoong:** that escalated quickly

**hyungseob:** and he said yes and wooed me a bit

**seunghyuk:** make plans with him!!!

**seunghyuk:** where do you wanna go

**euiwoong:** a washroom

**hyungseob:** please

**seunghyuk:** the park, into town, out to eat?

**hyungseob:** um i wanna treat him so a food related thing maybe?

**euiwoong:** wait but how serious is this date

**euiwoong:** cause there's a wide variety of stuff

**seunghyuk:** yeah woong's right

**euiwoong:** like, fast food means i don't wanna spend too much on you but i still wanna eat

**seunghyuk:** sushi means i want to splurge and let you know that i care about you

**euiwoong:** convenience store food is like. rock bottom

**seunghyuk:** nah leftovers is

**euiwoong:** true

**hyungseob:** this isn't helping at all

 

-

 

**[hyungseob** > **quanzhe]**

  
**hyungseob:** well why don't we make some right now?

**quanzhe:** i'd be happy to!

**hyungseob:** ah, can i take you out to eat something?

**quanzhe:** of course

**hyungseob:** what do you want? i don't wanna drag you somewhere that you don't like

**hyungseob:** unless you're into that

**hyungseob:** please don't force yourself to eat with me oh my god

 

-

 

**[what's bi wenjun so tall for]**

  
**quanzhe:** where do i wanna go with him!!!

**zeren:** are you even using our suggestions

**quanzhe:** he wants to eat out

**justin:** "let's go to a bakery, but nothing there will be as sweet as you~"

**zhengting:** "wherever we go, let's split the bill, practice for the future"

**zeren:** "combination pizza hut and taco bell"

**wenjun:** "chicken wings, ch-ch-chicken wings"

**chengcheng:** "it doesn't matter cause i'll be with you"

**xinchun:** "little hamster's restaurant"

**quanzhe:** i give up with you

 

-

 

**[quanzhe** > **hyungseob]**

  
**quanzhe:** surprise me!! i'm not picky

**quanzhe:** but i do enjoy a good pastry

**hyungseob:** okay!

**hyungseob:** also um

**hyungseob:** you're the cutest i couldn't help myself i'm so enamoured

**hyungseob:** sorry if that's weird

**quanzhe:** it's not!!!!

**quanzhe:** you're not so bad yourself babe

**quanzhe:** can i...call you that

**hyungseob:** YES

**hyungseob:** i mean

**hyungseob:** yes please

**hyungseob:** as long as i can call you that back

**quanzhe:** absolutely!!!

**hyungseob:** well then,,, i can't wait for our date babe

**quanzhe:** wo w you're the cutest my heart is fluttering

**hyungseob:** ME TO YOU

**quanzhe:** hehe

**quanzhe:** i can't wait either ^^

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**[euiwoong** > **hyungseob]**

  
**euiwoong:** you good? you've been spaced out all day

**hyungseob:** yeah just

**hyungseob:** thinking about a scenario where i asked for quanzhe's number and he actually liked my awkward self and we were both panicking and asking for help and i asked him out and he called me babe and i got flustered and he got flustered and it was really cute also do you think he likes cafes

**euiwoong:**

**euiwoong:** did you eat something weird in thailand

**hyungseob:** probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUP APRIL FOOLS IT WAS ALL IN SEOB'S MIND
> 
> kudos to u if u got all of wenjun's vine references
> 
> a real chapter is coming soon i promise hdjskf


	6. takes one to know one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chengcheng and justin star in a soap opera. zeren and wenjun say questionable things. love sucks and (almost) everyone hates it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: there's a mildly nsfw text around the end,,, nothing serious but if u don't like that just a heads up!!
> 
> this is the most cursed chapter to date i hate it

**[moling tim]**

  
**zhengting:** justin. what have you done

 **justin:** i've done a lot of things you might want to elaborate

 **zhengting:** why is everyone using jeffrey's eggs to make meringue

 **justin:** i might have accidentally sent an out of context text to papillon team about hyungseob

 **justin:** i'm guessing they searched him up after

 **zhengting:** this is giving me war flashbacks

 **wenjun:** it's so fun to watch

 **chengcheng:** the producer jiejies are gonna be so mad

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** it's happening

 **hyungseob:** my greatest fear

 **euiwoong:** ed sheeran came into your room at night and started singing?

 **hyungseob:** my other greatest fear

 **seunghyuk:** park jimin asked you to perform on stage with him while you had the stomach flu?

 **hyungseob:** my greatest fear that includes someone who i've actually met before

 **euiwoong:** park woojin gave you shingles?

 **seunghyuk:** woong wearing overalls?

 **euiwoong:** hey

 **euiwoong:** you said they looked good

 **hyungseob:** it was tragic at best but ANYWAYS

 **euiwoong:** i thought i looked cute...

 **hyungseob:** MY GREATEST FEAR WITH QUANZHE

 **seunghyuk:** oh you should have said something sooner

 **euiwoong:** you fly back to korea and he's already back in china

 **seunghyuk:** he flies to china just as you go back to korea

 **hyungseob:** help

 **euiwoong:** what do you want us to do, drag him back just so you can say hi?

 **hyungseob:** not the worst idea but

 **euiwoong:** you're so weird

 **hyungseob:** he should be back, the finale of idol producer is soon and i wouldn't want to him to miss that ever

 **hyungseob:** i just wanna. meet him

 **seunghyuk:** it'll happen someday seob

 

-

 

 **[seunghyuk** > **euiwoong]**

  
**seunghyuk:** it's not going to happen

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**seunghyuk:** i promise

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
**xinchun:** help we're at the airport and quanzhe lost his passport

 **zhengting:** he what

 **quanzhe:** no shut up i just

 **quanzhe:** monentarily misplaced it

 **xinchun:** he was talking about hyungseob and got distracted and when he checked his passport was gone

 **wenjun:** that's some serious daydreaming

 **zeren:** why were you so engrossed with talking about him anyways?

 **xinchun:** no don't ask

 **quanzhe:** well

 **xinchun:** oh he's typing it's too late your eyes are gonna be subject to a paragraph of pining

 **zeren:** sorry?

 **xinchun:** you should be

 **quanzhe:** i made up a scenario in my head where i asked him out and we went downtown and we got to go to so many different shops and cafes and we bought matching phone cases that made a heart if you put them together and matching bracelets and shared a slice of cake where we fed each other and i got icing on my nose and he kissed it off and then we found an empty jungle gym and he goofed around but then he fell but i kissed it better so we were even with the kisses and we sat on a park bench and snuggled and napped and i was so happy i never want to forget this memory

 **wenjun:** you never want to forget a fake memory

 **quanzhe:** it was a _good_ fake memory

 **xinchun:** quanzhe i love you so much but this is excessive

 **zeren:** i

 **zeren:** well

 **zhengting:** i don't even know how to respond to this anymore

 **zhengting:** you two need to start talking

 

-

 

 **[justin** > **chengcheng]**

  
**justin:** hey loser

 **chengcheng:** takes one to know one

 **justin:** fair

 **justin:** anyways i need help

 **chengcheng:** quanseob?

 **justin:** blegh no they're migraines in the making i'm taking a break

 **justin:** there's this joke but i only know the punchline

 **chengcheng:** hit me

 **justin:** tooth hurty

 **chengcheng:** when's the best time to go to the dentist

 **justin:** you complete me

 **justin:** thanks babe

 **justin:** wait um i meant

 **chengcheng:** no problem

 **chengcheng:** oh

 **chengcheng:** uh

 **chengcheng:** it's chill

 **justin:** no i

 **justin:** do you

 **justin:** mind me saying that

 **chengcheng:** not really

 **justin:** really?

 **chengcheng:** i mean

 **chengcheng:** do _you_ mind?

 **justin:** i was the one who said it in the first place

 **chengcheng:** you have a point

 **justin:** should we talk about this

 **chengcheng:** we are talking about it

 **justin:** ugh shut up just

 **chengcheng:** are you gonna ask "what are we?" as slow music starts playing and we look at each other dramatically for five minutes

 **justin:** as long as you're wearing that wig so it blows in the unnecessary wind

 **chengcheng:**  does this drama have a happy or tragic ending

 **justin:** what do you want it to be?

 **chengcheng:** i asked you first

 **justin:** i asked you second

**chengcheng:**

**chengcheng:** honestly? a happy one

 **justin:** me too

 **chengcheng:** so like...

 **chengcheng:**  does this make us bfs?

 **justin:** boyfriends?

 **chengcheng:** no bro friends, it's double the dude love

**justin:**

**chengcheng:** yes, boyfriends

 **justin:** okay good

 **justin:** and yeah

 **justin:** boyfriends sounds nice

 **chengcheng:** not as nice as you

 **justin:** that doesn't even make sense

 **chengcheng:** you don't even make sense

 **justin:** you make even less sense

 **chengcheng:** you make the least sense

 **justin:** i have plenty of sense excuse you

 **chengcheng:** not fashion sense

 **chengcheng:** you just throw on anything that looks expensive and hope it matches

 **justin:** like you can talk mr fan

 **chengcheng:** don't bring my family name into this you haven't even met my parents

 **justin:** thinking that far ahead huh

 **chengcheng:** of course i can't imagine a future without you

 **chengcheng:** ...too much?

 **justin:** oh my god

 **justin:** you're so cheesy why do i like you

 **chengcheng:** who doesn't like me?

 **justin:** no one, you're irresistible

 **chengcheng:** not as irresistible as you

 **justin:** are we gonna keep ping ponging compliments or are we actually gonna make a move

 **chengcheng:** meet me in the dorms i'm gonna smooch your brains out loser

 **justin:** takes one to know one

 **chengcheng:** fair

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**seunghyuk:** hey did you know i'm a cryptid

 **euiwoong:** yeah

 **hyungseob:** what else would you be if you weren't

 **seunghyuk:** i love you guys

 **euiwoong:** gross

 **hyungseob:** seconded

 **seunghyuk:** seobbie :(( my heart called out to you and you refused to answer :((

 **euiwoong:** if you say "sorry seunghyukkie, my heart belongs to someone else" i swear

 **hyungseob:** sorry seunghyukkie but my heart belongs to someone else

**euiwoong:**

**hyungseob:** ehe

 **seunghyuk:** quanzhe loves you too

 **hyungseob:** STOP MY HEARTBEAT STUTTERED

 **euiwoong:** i'm pretty sure that's a medical condition

 **seunghyuk:** is there really no one else you can talk to about this

 **hyungseob:** no all my friends suck

 **euiwoong:** thanks

 **hyungseob:** you're welcome

 **seunghyuk:** seonho?

 **hyungseob:** seonho could get hit over the head with romantic feelings and he wouldn't notice a thing

 **seunghyuk:** woojin?

 **hyungseob:** HE AND JIHOON SUCK THE MOST

 **seunghyuk:** heh

 **euiwoong:** don't be gross

 **seunghyuk:**  ...wow you really don't have any friends

 **hyungseob:** thanks for the confidence boost

 **seunghyuk:** no problem

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
**wenjun:** wait quanzhe

 **quanzhe:** yeah?

 **wenjun:** don't you know how to speak korean

 **quanzhe:** yeah...?

 **wenjun:** you could've held a conversation just fine with hyungseob why didn't you just speak it then

 **quanzhe:** um

  
_quanzhe has left the group chat._

  
**wenjun:** BITCH YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM YOUR FEELINGS LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE

 **xinchun:** quanzhe told me to say "TRY ME"

 

-

 

  
**[2 tol 2 smol]**

  
**zhengting:** hello?

 **hyungseob:** hi hyung!

 **euiwoong:** is there something up?

 **zhengting:** just

 **zhengting:** seob, how are your feelings for quanzhe?

 **euiwoong:** sickening

 **seunghyuk:** painful

 **euiwoong:** delicate

 **seunghyuk:** lowkey cute

 **euiwoong:** atrocious

 **seunghyuk:** desperate

 **hyungseob:** usually i'd disagree but yeah that's the gist of it

 **zhengting:** this is going to be impossible

 

-

 

  
**[moling tim]**

  
**zeren:** i'm not gonna explain vore to quanzhe what the hell

 **zeren:** sorry wrong chat

 **xinchun:** quanzhe's asking what vore is

 **xinchun:** also i refuse to bring him back into the chat until he lets out all his hyungseob feelings

 **xinchun:**  i care for everyone's well being and am sacrificing my own ears

 **chengcheng:** good call

 **zeren:** it's something i'm not going to elaborate on

 **wenjun:** weak

 **zeren:** IT'S NOT WEAK IT'S CALLED BEING CONSIDERATE

 **justin:** i can tell him

 **zhengting:** every day we stray further away from god's light

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
**wenjun:** no i'm sayingi'd let _myself_  fuck a cryptid, i refuse to believe i'm a bottom in any hypothetical situation

 **wenjun:** oh that wasn't supposed to send here

 **zhengting:** WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO

 **zhengting:** actually

 **zhengting:** don't tell me

 **zhengting:** i'd rather not know

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
**zeren:** gun to your head would you rather fight 20 tiny bu fans or 1 big qian zhenghao

 **zeren:** wrong chat but answer and elaborate please

 **xinchun:** what kind of conversations are you guys having

 **wenjun:** 20 tiny bu fans because i can just step on them

 **justin:** zhenghao can't hurt people at all making him bigger won't change that

 **zhengting:**  i choose the gun to my head

 **chengcheng:** mood but is everything okay ge

 **zhengting:** just stressed

 **xinchun:** like...survival show stressed or

 **zhengting:** why can't quanzhe and hyungseob SPEAK to each other

 **xinchun:** oh that kind of stressed

 **zeren:** hey not everyone answered me

 **zhengting:** uh 20 tiny bu fans because i will never fight zhenghao

 **xinchun:** 20 tiny bu fans, i'll just bring yueyue over and they'll all run to him

 **chengcheng:** i'm the one holding the gun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ip is ending in 4 days i'm gonna tape myself to a rocket n launch myself into the sun


	7. good luck lover boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zhengting is stressed. people make bets. nine percent is called to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so....the ip finale......that happened.......
> 
> who am i kidding i've been crying for hours i can't believe this is actually happening i'm so glad i joined all these boys through their journey i wouldn't trade a single second
> 
> MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE FINAL LINE UP

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** i'm going to astral project my soul into the nearest star

 **euiwoong:** literally calm down

 **seunghyuk:** oh dear

 **hyungseob:** you can't stop me woong i'm already halfway out my body

 **euiwoong:** you're overreacting

 **seunghyuk:** do i want to know

 **euiwoong:** the idol producer yuehua trainees are going to thailand

 **hyungseob:** we were Just There

 **euiwoong:** we had to go back to promote, we couldn't have stayed for longer

 **hyungseob:** screw promotions

 **hyungseob:** i wanna see quanzhe

 **euiwoong:** you see this? what i have to deal with? my sanity is weakening i'll be a shell of who i used to be soon

 **seunghyuk:** sending my prayers

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
_xinchun added quanzhe to the group chat._

  
**xinchun:** okay...

 **quanzhe:** i'm gonna say this one time and that'll be it i love ahn hyungseob

 **xinchun:** that's it that's one time

 **justin:** he loves you too

 **quanzhe:** my heart fluttered

 **zhengting:** you two are the cutest but also the most dumb

 **quanzhe:** uh justin and chengcheng exist

 **zeren:** are you implying that justin and chengcheng are cute

 **quanzhe:** they are sometimes!!!

 **wenjun:** once i was in a room with them and justin blinked at chengcheng and chengcheng blinked back and they started strangling me

 **justin:** ah good memories

 **justin:** i wish chengcheng and i could tease hyungseob and euiwoong that would be so fun

 **zhengting:** don't touch woongie he did nothing wrong!

 **justin:** HE ONCE ROBBED ME OF MY MOST PRECIOUS BELONGING

 **zhengting:** he ate your pudding you're so dramatic

 **zhengting:** we did too at one point

 **justin:** you did?

 **zhengting:** did i say that? haha what

 **quanzhe:** don't bully hyungseob i love him

 **xinchun:** QUANZHE YOU SAID ONE TIME

 **quanzhe:** I COULDN'T HELP IT

 **justin:** no it's fine let him rant about hyungseob

 **justin:** imma send screenshots

 **quanzhe:** justin huang i am going to stab you with a spork

 **zeren:** what is up with you and sporks

**justin:**

**justin:** it's worth it, if i die give all my clothes to chengcheng

 **chengcheng:** who says i want your out of style clothes

 **justin:** wow i trust no one but dahua and zeren bye

 **zeren:** why am i on the same level as a dog

 **xinchun:** hey yeah

 **xinchun:** that's an insult to huahua

 

-

 

**[5 dads and an uncle]**

  
**zhengting:** okay so hypothetically

 **fen:** another one of your hypothetical yet strangely specific scenarios?

 **zhengting:** oh shut up

 **fen:** uh hello?? respect your elders??

 **xingjie:** so you admit that you're old

 **fen:** every time i say something in this chat i regret it

 **mubo:** honeybun you have to stop setting yourself up for embarrassment

 **yue:** i am so glad me and fan don't have to resort to gross nicknames like you two

 **mubo:** you'll grow into it someday

 **junyi:** hey why isn't bu fan in this chat too?

 **yue:** think about anything fan has ever done

 **yue:** then ask yourself that question again

 **junyi:** ...fair

 **zhengting:** so can i continue

 **junyi:** go ahead!!

 **zhengting:** junyi you're my undisclosed favourite

 **junyi:** aw  <3

 **yue:** just get on with it

 **zhengting:** hypothetically

 **xingjie:** stop we all know this actually happened

 **zhengting:** if two people liked each other a lot

 **zhengting:** but refuse to talk to each other

 **zhengting:** what's the best way to set them up?

 **yue:** oh is this quanzhe and that guy he's crushing on

 **zhengting:** HOW DID YOU

 **zhengting:** i mean

 **zhengting:** no

 **xingjie:** oh that egg dude

 **junyi:** quanzhe likes jeffrey???

 **mubo:** what does your son want from my son

 **fen:** it was jeffrey who ate raw egg?

 **junyi:** JEFFREY ATE A RAW EGG??????

 **xingjie:** honestly i wouldn't be surprised

 **xingjie:** he's got a lot of hidden depths

 **zhengting:** no stop he likes one of the trainees in our company

 **yue:** there goes your hypothetical situation

 **zhengting:** whatever please help it's been stressing me out so bad

 **mubo:** just let it happen

 **zhengting:** that's the problem

 **zhengting:** i’ve been trying to let it happen but they’re both so resistant to actually communicating it’s the most difficult thing in the world

 **fen:** so you have both their contacts?

 **zhengting:** yeah

 **fen:** make a group chat with them then leave it

 **mubo:** you can do that??

 **xingjie:** i knew you were old but not old enough to be this out of touch with technology

 **junyi:** zuo ye told me they had to teach him how to use their electronic fridge

 **mubo:** i just wanted water not an avalanche of crushed ice!

 **zhengting:** oh absolutely not they would both never touch their phone again with the fear of picking it up and seeing a notification they have to reply to

 **yue:** geez your kids are bad at this

 **zhengting:** RIGHT

 

  
-

 

**[99 problems and woojin's one of them]**

  
**hyungseob:** okay i'm gonna try to ask you disaster gays for advice

 **woojin:** uh seob you're literally the most disastrous gay i've ever met

 **hyungseob:** leave

 **woojin:** ok

  
_woojin left the group chat._

  
**hyungseob:** I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY IDIOT

  
_hyungseob added woojin to the group chat._

  
**jihoon:** oh at least you add him back

 **jihoon:** he’s been out of our wanna one group chat for 3 weeks

 **woojin:** well i’m sorry i’m too hot to handle

 **jihoon:** ew

 **hyungseob:** ugh you're both impossible

 **jihoon:** not as impossible as your relationship with quanzhe

 **hyungseob:** STOP IT

 **jihoon:** you know if you two actually talked this would be so much easier

 **hyungseob:** i'm not risking my chances of a bad first impression

 **woojin:** dude his first impression of you was you kissing him in a public washroom idk how it can get worse than that

 **hyungseob:** have you met me???

 **woojin:** i take it back

 **jihoon:** so

 **jihoon:** what did you need to ask?

 **hyungseob:** how did the other people you know get together?

 **jihoon:** okay that is literally the worst question cause there’s no good stories

 **hyungseob:** none???

 **woojin:** seongwoo and daniel pined for like the entirety of produce 101 and they were too scared to actually confess so daehwi locked them in a room until they finally told each other

 **jihoon:** daehwi told jinyoung he liked him but jinyoung didn’t respond for two weeks

 **jihoon:** meals together were so awkward

 **woojin:** we’re all horrible with feelings i hope you know

 **hyungseob:** why is everyone i know romantically constipated i’m going to die alone

 **woojin:** hey i’ll be with you

 **jihoon:** me too

 **hyungseob:** no offense but i don’t want to be third wheeling while i pass away

 **jihoon:** that’s fair

 

-

 

 **[xinchun** > **quanzhe]**

  
**xinchun:** hey do you think justin and chengcheng are dating

 **quanzhe:** what?

 **xinchun:** i don’t know they’ve been acting...weird

 **quanzhe:** are they not always weird

 **xinchun:** no but like

 **xinchun:** i really think they’re dating

 **quanzhe:** chengcheng is as dense as a metal bar and justin would rather get smacked in the face with wenjun’s yoyo 100 times than admit that he has feelings i have no idea what you’re talking about

 **xinchun:** i bet your confession to hyungseob you’re dating

 **quanzhe:** my _what_

 **xinchun:** if they’re dating, you have to contact him

 **quanzhe:** wh

 **quanzhe:** what happens if they’re not

 **xinchun:** unlikely but

 **xinchun:** all your meals for the time the final group is promoting on me

 **quanzhe:** DEAL

 **xinchun:** better start writing your love letter

 

-

 

**[hyungseob’s gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** just a heads up the idol producer finale is going to air soon and i'm gonna live text it

 **euiwoong:** auditioning for yuehua was the worst decision of my life

 

-

 

**[moling tim]**

  
_xinchun changed the group chat name to:_ yuehua family

  
**xinchun:** let's do our best tonight!! i love you!!

 **zhengting:** i love you all so much.

 **quanzhe:** i love you all too!

 **zeren:** i love you guys

 **wenjun:** aw i love you too

 **justin:** i really do love you

 **chengcheng:** i mean i guess i do

 **justin:** just say it

 **chengcheng:** i love all of you too

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** you know what time it is

 **seunghyuk:** time to send several angry letters explaining how carbon tax could save the environment but our world leaders are cowards

 **hyungseob:** what

 **seunghyuk:** the earth is dying, seob

 **hyungseob:** uh no the idol producer finale is on

 **seunghyuk:** oh shoot that's today?

 **seunghyuk:** are we placing bets

 **euiwoong:** i bet on lin yanjun getting in

 **seunghyuk:** don't you hate his jokes

 **euiwoong:** they're cheesy and make things awkward but he's a good dude

 **hyungseob:** i have faith in my yuehua coworkers!

 **euiwoong:** did you just call them coworkers

 **hyungseob:** all of them are gonna get in

 **seunghyuk:** bet

 **seunghyuk:** if they do, you gotta say something to quanzhe

 **hyungseob:** HWTA

 **euiwoong:** ooh good one

 **seunghyuk:** if i lose and they all make it i'll never bring up the washroom kiss or bother you about him ever and if i do

 **euiwoong:** omg

 **euiwoong:** are you giving him permission to smack?

 **seunghyuk:** permission granted

 **hyungseob:** ...fine

 **hyungseob:** BUT I HAVE FAITH

 

-

 

**[just right]**

  
**euiwoong:** hey good luck to the two of you!! we'll be cheering you on

 **seunghyuk:** yuehua represent

 **hyungseob:** please get in i don't wanna do something i'll regret

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**hyungseob:** THEY'RE ANNOUNCING TOP 9

 **seunghyuk:** wow this is giving me war flashbacks

 **hyungseob:** HEY NUMBER 8 XIAO GUI

 **euiwoong:** he better change his hair after debut

 **seunghyuk:** if not i'll book a flight to china and shave it off

 **hyungseob:** i'll join you

 **euiwoong:** he's a good rapper though i like his freestyle

 **hyungseob:** my hands are shaking

 **euiwoong:** i can see

 **seunghyuk:** hyungshake

 **euiwoong:** that wasn't even than good

 **seunghyuk:** i know

 **hyungseob:** OH NICE WANG ZIYI AT 7

 **euiwoong:** oh another rapper

 **euiwoong:** b o o g i e

 **seunghyuk:** oh what a nice dude

 **hyungseob:** he's so selfless and caring i'm happy he got in

 **hyungseob:** hjdjskdk

 **euiwoong:** seob just got a finger cramp while trying to do the bbt hand sign

 **seunghyuk:** everyone dreams to be as sweet as him

 **euiwoong:** i like his tone i wish my voice was that deep and velvety

 **seunghyuk:** but then you wouldn't be cute

 **euiwoong:** i don't wanna be cute i want to go back to my who you stage that was Peak Lee Euiwoong

 **hyungseob:** but you're stuck in a unit with me and we'll probably always have a fresh concept

 **euiwoong:** is it too late to back out of the comeback

 **hyungseob:** OH SHUT UP THEY'RE ANNOUNCING NUMBER 6

 **euiwoong:** i'm guessing it is

 **seunghyuk:** woah holy shit

 **euiwoong:** OH

 **hyungseob:** THAT'S JUNGJUNG HYUNG

 **hyungseob:** THAT'S HIM IN 6TH PLACE

 **hyungseob:** WHAT A GLOW UP

 **seunghyuk:** it seems like just yesterday i was teaching him korean

 **seunghyuk:** _i love you zhengting ge_ <3

 **euiwoong:** HE DESERVES IT THE MOST I LOVE HIM

 **euiwoong:** i'm so glad i hugged him the last time we saw each other

 **seunghyuk:** is there some kind of leader line solidarity or

 **euiwoong:** yes

 **seunghyuk:** huh

 **hyungseob:** 1/4!!

 **seunghyuk:** oh right the bet

 **seunghyuk:** i love yuehua as much as you do but i have a little less faith

 **euiwoong:** are you holding a grudge against them for not including you in anything but the chinese new year greeting

 **seunghyuk:** so what if i am

 **hyungseob:** even without your bet i'm so proud of him

 **hyungseob:** he's been training for so long he's finally debuting!!

 **seunghyuk:** big mood

 **euiwoong:** wait shush number 5

 **euiwoong:** ooooo

 **euiwoong:** HELL YEAH

 **hyungseob:** wow woong and i thought you wanted to leave yuehua cause i was live texting this

 **euiwoong:** BE QUIET LIN YANJUN IS IN 5TH PLACE

 **hyungseob:** GOOD FOR HIM

 **seunghyuk:** miracle boy

 **euiwoong:** oh i forgot to explain what happens if my bet came through

 **seunghyuk:** go for it anyways

 **euiwoong:** uuh

 **hyungseob:** woongie's bad at doing these kinds of things

 **euiwoong:** and you're bad at everything shut up

 **euiwoong:** i'm sorry that was mean

 **hyungseob:** it was but i forgive you

 **seunghyuk:** i feel like i'm third wheeling

 **euiwoong:** please don't

 **euiwoong:** i love seob but he's not my type

 **hyungseob:** agreed

 **seunghyuk:** right your type is people older or taller than you

 **euiwoong:** sH

 **hyungseob:** hey hey spot number 4!!!!

 **seunghyuk:** HELL YEAH THAT'S MY BABY

 **euiwoong:** GO STIN

 **hyungseob:** HUANG MINGHAO ONE STEP CLOSER TO WORLD DOMINATION

 **seunghyuk:** zhengting must be so happy right now

 **hyungseob:** also 2/4

 **hyungseob:** and the top 3 are most likely xukun, linong, and chengcheng so my chances of winning is High

 **seunghyuk:** yeah but you got four contenders for 9th place

 **euiwoong:** wait another rapper....

 **euiwoong:** this group needs a main vocal

 **hyungseob:** that's what wenjun is there for

 **seunghyuk:** at least our one picks got in woong

 **hyungseob:** wait i just realized how invested in the show you guys are

 **euiwoong:** you're not the only person that's watched it

 **hyungseob:** well duh over 170 million votes can't come from one person

 **seunghyuk:** if you knew the right people then....

 **hyungseob:**  but you have one picks??

 **seunghyuk:** of course

 **seunghyuk:** nongfu spring vitamin water is the center of my heart

 **euiwoong:** mcjin 1st place

 **hyungseob:** i'm rolling my eyes so hard i can see the back of my head

 **seunghyuk:** ew??

 **euiwoong:**  they're yanjun and jungjung hyung

 **hyungseob:**  oh you two have good taste

 **seunghyuk:** thank you i know

 **euiwoong:** yo they're calling up 3rd place

 **seunghyuk:** will chengcheng's rank be stable through all 12 weeks

 **seunghyuk:** unlike my bank account

 **euiwoong:** what do you even buy

 **seunghyuk:** overwatch merch and none of your business but i guess that's sold out right now

 **hyungseob:** CHENGCHENG

 **euiwoong:** for a split second i thought he was in this chat and you were saying his name to call him

 **seunghyuk:** fan chengcheng if you're in this chat

 **seunghyuk:** your vegetables have finally been returned

 **euiwoong:** fan chengcheng out chat cryptid

 **seunghyuk:** i have a friend!

 **hyungseob:** how does he look so good while also looking like ronald mcdonald

 **seunghyuk:** McDaddy

 **hyungseob:** STOP

 **euiwoong:** girls we can be your McDaddy

 **hyungseob:** i hate this so much

 **euiwoong:** but congrats to chengcheng! he worked hard

 **hyungseob:** 3/4 we're over halfway there!!

 **seunghyuk:** uh huh

 **euiwoong:** oh there they go

 **euiwoong:** competing for 1st and 2nd place

 **seunghyuk:** aw linong is cute

 **hyungseob:** who

 **seunghyuk:** sorry *nongnong

 **hyungseob:** OH RIGHT i've used nongnong so much i forgot he had an actual name

 **euiwoong:** it's the same concept but why is it such a different mood from produce 101

 **seunghyuk:** cause produce 101 strips you of your life and soul and makes you cry while idol producer gently takes you into its hands and shows you that survival shows can be good

 **euiwoong:** ....accurate

 **hyungseob:** WOAH GO CAI XUKUN

 **euiwoong:** bless him and his mesh shirt

 **seunghyuk:** muah.....love you jesus

 **hyungseob:** 47 MILLION VOTES

 **euiwoong:** that's the population of a small country

 **seunghyuk:** actually that's 10 million more than the population of canada

 **euiwoong:** What

 **hyungseob:** hey aren't they going to america

 **euiwoong:** uh yeah they got their visas but how is that relevant

 **hyungseob:** how many votes did it take for the current president to get elected

 **seunghyuk:** 62 million

 **euiwoong:** how do you know all these western statistics

 **seunghyuk:** when you're jobless for so long, you find things to do

 **hyungseob:** i'm just saying......cai xukun for president

 **euiwoong:** he has my vote

 **seunghyuk:** let me be vice maybe i could finally give that meeting about global warming

 **euiwoong:** WAIT HEY FINAL SPOT

 **hyungseob:** HHH

 **seunghyuk:** someday they will learn.....someday

 **euiwoong:** oh bu fan at 12th

 **hyungseob:** HE WAS A GOOD LEADER AND DID REALLY WELL I'M PROUD OF HIM

 **seunghyuk:** thank you for your shimmies

 **euiwoong:** zhenghao at 11th??????

 **seunghyuk:** guess his stars aren't shining for him

 **seunghyuk:** i'm Kidding he was a super talented vocalist and a surprisingly good rapper, i hope his company uses his talent well

 **hyungseob:** IT'S BETWEEN WENJUN AND ZHANGJING

 **hyungseob:** I'M SO GONNA W

 **euiwoong:** were you gonna say win

 **seunghyuk:** cool nine percent's got a main vocal

 **seunghyuk:** a really good one too, congrats you zhangjing

 **euiwoong:** YES THE GROUP WON'T BE VOCALLY STRUGGLED

 **hyungseob:** euh

 **euiwoong:** seob's gone unresponsive

 **hyungseob:** i

 **hyungseob:** wanted him to get in :(

 **seunghyuk:** oh i just realized he's the guy who thinks i'm a cryptid

 **euiwoong:** by the way you're acting it's like you have a crush on wenjun not quanzhe

 **hyungseob:** actually quanzhe is the love of my life and nothing can change that

 **seunghyuk:** so are you ready to message him?

 **hyungseob:** WHAT

 **seunghyuk:** remember the bet

 **hyungseob:** oh no

 **hyungseob:** my life is over

 **hyungseob:** i can see it flashing before my eyes

 **hyungseob:** ...i've done a lot of questionable things

 **seunghyuk:** i'll get quanzhe's number from zhengting then send it to you

 **seunghyuk:** good luck lover boy

 

-

 

**[hyungseob's gay crisis]**

  
**euiwoong:** he's crying

 **seunghyuk:** it's like 8 in the morning

 **euiwoong:** yeah there's previews of them at the airport and seob is in tears

 **seunghyuk:** has he still not messaged quanzhe???

 **euiwoong:** he physically can't

 

-

 

 **[hyungseob** > **quanzhe]**

  
**hyungseob:** hey it's hyungseob **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** you worked hard **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** remember when we kissed in that washroom haha wild **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** please date me i've been pining for you uncontrollably for the past month **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** you're a loser with a cute face and i hate you **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** i wanna talk to you but i'm scared **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** sorry **[not sent]**

 **hyungseob:** hey, it's hyungseob! have a safe trip to thailand!

 **[send]**      cancel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know that's not how sending texts work but it's for the Suspense
> 
> sorry for the late update!! i was scrambling to get a chapter done then the finale came so i said why not just include it in here
> 
> so! welcome nine percent, i'm ready to love you with my whole heart <3
> 
> my top 3 got in, i'm happy ;;;
> 
> thank u wonderful people who read this i love u


	8. aren't we moving a little fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> xinchun wins a bet. quanzhe is gullible. chengcheng and justin are exposed. bread is eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello this is kinda late but i love u all n i'm dying
> 
> i feel like this is lacking the usual humour but ;;;

**[just right]**

  
**zhengting:** i love you!!

 **zhengting:** thank you for always being by our sides

 **justin:** or at least

 **justin:** by our hip

 **euiwoong:** do height jokes ever get boring to you

 **justin:** never

 **seunghyuk:** _zhengting don't forget to send me some of your new promotion money_

**zhengting:** _of course, anything for my sugar baby_

**justin:** _what did i just read_

 **euiwoong:** ...

 **hyungseob:** wait guys no fair you know my chinese is bad

 **euiwoong:** i'm not translating

 **seunghyuk:** _thank you daddy_ <3

 **zhengting:** <3

 **justin:** I'M GOING TO LEAVE THIS CHAT

 **hyungseob:** that says...thank you dad???

 **hyungseob:** but there's no parents

 **hyungseob:** wait

 **hyungseob:** no

 **hyungseob:** YOU'RE BOTH GROSS I HATE THIS FAMILY

 

-

 

**[yuehua family]**

  
**xinchun:** please help i wanted to share earphones with quanzhe but he's just had love tint on repeat for 15 minutes and he won't let me leave

 **zeren:** i wish i could save you

 **quanzhe:** sometimes repetition is needed for someone to appreciate a masterpiece

 **xinchun:** you're my brother and i love you

 **xinchun:** but i can only listen to your husband say "noege muldeureo" so many times

 **quanzhe:** MY WHAT

 **wenjun:** your husband

 **quanzhe:** AREN'T WE MOVING A LITTLE FAST

 **zhengting:** god i wish you could move faster

 **justin:** for once i'm not the source of his stress

 **chengcheng:** a rare occurence

 **justin:** oh be quiet you're just mad that he didn't jump for joy when you were called in the final lineup

 **chengcheng:** bringing up idol producer? low blow

 **justin:** it was literally a couple of days ago

 

-

 

 **[xinchun** > **quanzhe]**

  
**xinchun:** look at them

 **xinchun:** bickering like an old married couple

 **quanzhe:** that's how they argue all the time??

 **xinchun:** yeah but at this point they would have resorted to name calling

 **xinchun:** and justin said be quiet instead of shut up

 **xinchun:** they're just teasing back and forth with no real harm

 **quanzhe:** if there was any real harm zhengting ge would smack both of them

 **xinchun:** you're right but no

 **xinchun:** trust me, there's something going on

 **quanzhe:** how am i supposed to trust you when you said i'm the idiot king of yuehua

 **xinchun:** sorry you can't handle the truth

 

_-_

 

**[just right]**

  
**justin:** wait seob what was the thing you'll regret doing

 **euiwoong:** he saw this message, got reminded, and started screaming

 **zhengting:** regret??

 **seunghyuk:** we made a bet over nine percent's final lineup and if he lost he had to talk to quanzhe

 **justin:** SO HE LOST

 **euiwoong:** yeah but his first message has been unsent for days

 **zhengting:** this is the worst

 **seunghyuk:** he better come through

 **euiwoong:** hey seob i found out what my bet is gonna be on

 **euiwoong:** you now have two bets riding on you contacting quanzhe

 **hyungseob:** YOU CAN'T JUST ADD ON LIKE THAT

 **euiwoong:** sorry loser

 **zhengting:** what happens is he doesn't do it?

 **justin:** it's best not to ask

 **hyungseob:** you all suck

 **hyungseob:** i hate you

 **zhengting:** no you don't

 **justin:** okay

 **seunghyuk:** love you~

 **euiwoong:** bitch me too, the fuck

 

-

 

  
**[big head be gone]**

  
**justin:** quanseob is close to happening

 **zeren:** wait really

 **hyungseob:** well closer than it has been

 **justin:** hyungseob lost a bet so now he has to talk to quanzhe

 **xinchun:** wow we really like putting bets on them

 **justin:** ...this is the first bet that was placed that we were informed of what do you know

 **xinchun:** coughs

 **wenjun:** you bet something with quanzhe didn't you

 **chengcheng:** it's not hard, he believes everything

 **zhengting:** my gullible baby

 **justin:** xinchun...

 **xinchun:** i may have bet on someone's relationship with him

 **wenjun:** oh snap

 **zhengting:** but who

 **xinchun:** people we know very well

 **wenjun:** the people we know aren't very well acquainted with romance i hope you know

 **zeren:** xukun and ziyi?

 **zhengting:** oh they're definitely not together

 **zhengting:** i think

 **xinchun:** nope closer

 **justin:** did you bet on one of us??

 **xinchun:** two of you actually

 **chengcheng:** was it me and justin

 **xinchun:** ...yeah

 **wenjun:** seriously

 **zeren:** huh

 **xinchun:** so are you?

 **chengcheng:** are we what

 **xinchun:** dating

 **justin:** oh

 **justin:** yeehaw

 **justin:** *yeah

 **justin:** autocorrect

 **zeren:** why do you have the word yeehaw saved in your phone

 **xinchun:** WAIT YOU TWO ACTUALLY

 **chengcheng:** yeehaw

 **wenjun:** please don't make this a thing

 **xinchun:** OH MY GOD

 

-

 

**[yuehua family]**

  
**xinchun:** LI QUANZHE IT'S TIME TO CONFESS

 **quanzhe:** I ONLY TOLD 3 PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR CRUSH ON DINGHAO NO ONE ELSE I PROMISE

 **xinchun:** what

 **quanzhe:** what

 **justin:** awkward

 **xinchun:** i'm talking to you later

 **xinchun:** but anyways

 **xinchun:** i won the bet

 **quanzhe:** what?? no way

 **xinchun:** ask them yourself

 **quanzhe:** i don't need to, justin's straight!!!

 **chengcheng:** i just choked

 **zeren:** excuse me

 **justin:** what universe are you living in that you think i'm straight

 **quanzhe:** you told me!!

 **quanzhe:** i said "i'm the most handsome out of all of us"

 **wenjun:** wow

 **quanzhe:** and you replied "yeah, and i'm straight"

 **quanzhe:** ...you were being sarcastic weren't you

 **justin:** dude

 **xinchun:** so do you have your love letter written??

 **quanzhe:** hold on chengcheng and justin are actually dating

 **chengcheng:** i sure hope so

 **chengcheng:** babe

 **justin:** yeah

 **chengcheng:** okay we are

 **quanzhe:** are you sure this isn't a scam for me to interact with hyungseob

 **zeren:** you gotta put more faith in us

 **quanzhe:** i lost every trace of that during my birthday "celebration"

 **wenjun:** we didn't mean to make you cry

 **quanzhe:** newsflash: you did anyways  >:(

 **xinchun:** but seriously they are dating

 **wenjun:** i promise i caught them kissing in the dorms once

 **justin:** YOU SAID THE DOOR WAS LOCKED

 **chengcheng:** I JUST ASSUMED

 **xinchun:** wenjun you couldn't have given that information sooner???

 **wenjun:** you never asked

 **zeren:** hey where's zhengting he's been kinda quiet

 **justin:** no don't say his name he's going to appear and yell at us

 **quanzhe:** that sounds reasonable

 **zhengting:** HUANG MINGHAO AND FAN CHENGCHENG YOU'RE DATING?????

 **zeren:** just a little bit late there ge

 **chengcheng:** he just exposed us to the rest of nine percent this is the worst day of my life

 

-

 

_justin created a group chat._

  
_justin added zhengting, wenjun, xinchun, zeren, seunghyuk, chengcheng, euiwoong._

  
_justin named the group chat:_ mission confess

  
**justin:** hello welcome to operation quanseob understanding affection, confessing, kissing

 **justin:** aka operation Q.U.A.C.K

 **chengcheng:** how long did it take you to think of that

 **justin:** weeks but anyways

 **justin:** thanks to xinchun seunghyuk and euiwoong

 **justin:** quanseob are being forced to talk

 **wenjun:** can't they just refuse the bets?

 **seunghyuk:** oh you never skip a bet in yuehua

 **wenjun:** holy fuck a cryptid

 **seunghyuk:** the one and only

 **seunghyuk:** but yeah not coming through is a no-no

 **seunghyuk:** there's a trainee named zhang xi and she didn't want to do her end of the bet so another trainee, ruihan, holds it against her all the time

 **seunghyuk:** so every time ruihan ruihan says the word "marker" zhang xi gets thrown completely off guard and loses focus

 **seunghyuk:** to this day we don't know how that happened

 **zhengting:** just cause of a bet?

 **seunghyuk:** yeah so it's better to be safe than sorry

 **zeren:** i'm genuinely concerned for our company's well being

 

 

-

 

  
**[nine percent of my braincells left]**

  
**yanjun:** i'm going to kill you zhangjing

 **ziyi:** woah what happened

 **justin:** big mood

 **zhengting:** justin you can't say big mood to everything

 **justin:** if you wanna stop me you have to go through chengcheng

 **chengcheng:** who said i'm protecting you???

 **justin:** betrayed by my own boyfriend

 **xukun:** zhengting why did you allow them to date

 **zhengting:** they got together behind my back!!!

 **gui:** this drama is getting spicy

 **linong:** is no one going to be concerned over yanjun wanting to murder zhangjing

 **xukun:** tbh what's new

 **ziyi:** yanjun, why do you want to kill zhangjing

 **yanjun:** HE ATE MY BREAD

 **linong:** that's it??

 **yanjun:** "that's it" YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN I WAS SAVING THAT BREAD

 **chengcheng:** haha pain is bread in french

 **yanjun:** yes thank you for noticing

 **yanjun:** BUT YEAH THEN HE JUST GOES AND EATS IT LIKE THE SAVAGE HE IS

 **yanjun:** HE BETTER BE BREADY TO DIE

 **zhengting:** how are you still making jokes when you're angry

 **gui:** zhangjing hasn't said anything yet should we be concerned

 **justin:** he's meditating guys

 **chengcheng:** he's died

 **xukun:** r.i.p aozora chin 1994-2018

 **justin:** actually he's an 02 liner

 **xukun:** oh you're right

 **xukun:** r.i.p aozora chin 1902-2018

 **ziyi:** he's gonna kill you if he sees that

 **gui:** not if yanjun kills him first

 **chengcheng:** how did he even get your bread?? you hide it in your suitcase

 **chengcheng:** unless...

 **linong:** YOU LET HIM EAT YOUR PRECIOUS BREAD AND YOU'RE JUST ANGRY THAT HE FINISHED IT

 **zhengting:** aww yanjun has a soft spot for zhangjing

 **yanjun:** maybe i do

 **yanjun:** BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANY FACTORS I WANT MY BREAD BACK

 **justin:** you're gonna forgive him in like half an hour calm down

 **gui:** the drama got less spicy

 **chengcheng:** oh i was gonna say that he secretly broke into your luggage and stole it and we would find out that he's actually a professional malaysian spy but that makes more sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have u seen the pics of 9% at universal??? i love my dorks....also wang ziyi is my boyfriend


End file.
